


Ficlet Challenge: Day 3 - Flood

by a1_kitkat



Series: February-Ficlet-Challenge-2021 [3]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Break Up Talk, Emotions, February Ficlet Challenge, Feelings, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Prompt Fill, Secret Relationship, Too Hard To Walk Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29185074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: Swept away by a flood of emotions
Relationships: Alex Manes/Jim Valenti
Series: February-Ficlet-Challenge-2021 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137701
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7
Collections: February Ficlet Challenge 2021: Apocalypse No





	Ficlet Challenge: Day 3 - Flood

**Author's Note:**

> I confess, I wasn’t keen on this prompt because I had absolutely zero ideas. Normally I can look at a prompt and have a visual or something that works for me but this one gave me *nothing* which understandably that’s part of the challenge!!! But as a result, I’m not entirely happy with this yet I would’ve been mad at myself for not at least trying...

“We can’t do this anymore.”

His voice shook as he said the words he’d been putting off all this time. The words that had been unspoken for so long, lingering in the air, on the tips of both their tongues.

“It’s gone on long enough.”

He added, trying to put the conviction into his tone. He needed to sell it, needed to be truly convincing even if he didn’t feel what he was actually saying.

Yes, it had gone on long enough and no they really couldn’t do this anymore but that didn’t mean he wanted things to end. How could he walk away from the best thing to happen to him in recent years?

He could feel the tears stinging his eyes and he blinked them back, took another deep breath before turning to meet the deep, mesmerizing gaze of his lover.

Alex reached up and pulled the headphones clear of his ears, looked at Jim with an absent expression on his face.

“Did you just say something?” Alex asked.

Jim could only stare, the blind innocence of Alex’s question was enough to make his heart practically constrict. A sudden wave of emotions flooded over him, engulfing him. He couldn’t breathe, feeling like he was internally drowning.

His hand shook as he reached for Alex, pulled the younger man into his arms and held him tightly in his embrace. He felt Alex’s soft lips on his neck and he squeezed his eyes shut to hold back his tears.

He didn’t want to do this but knew that he  _ had _ to… That  _ this  _ never should’ve happened in the first place. A drunken mistake that had changed the course of his life over the past six months. It had been like something from a dream, the type of thing that happened to other people, not him.

Jim feared his arms were practically suffocating Alex as he clung to him so tightly, so protectively. Everything he’d ever felt for the younger man flooded over him at once. He could still remember how their first kiss had left him breathless; how his heart had swelled the first time they’d whispered ‘I love you’ to each other; how terrified they’d been the one time they’d almost been caught together.

Their entire relationship had been on borrowed time, the foundation rocky at best and a storm was eventually going to come and completely decimate it… the best course was to end it before anyone could get hurt.

“Jim?” Alex whispered. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

He could tell from Alex’s tone that he  _ knew  _ what was wrong…  _ They  _ were wrong. Could it be like a bandaid? Best to just rip it off in one swoop?

Jim slowly opened his eyes and pulled just far enough away to look into Alex’s concerned gaze. He reached up and gently stroked his cheek. Before he could even say a word, he saw the cogs of Alex’s mind churning.

“Alex-” he started.

“No,” Alex’s eyes immediately filled with tears as he slowly shook his head. “No!”

Any minute now… 

“Jim, no!” Alex whispered. “Not yet, it’s too soon.”

“We should’ve ended this months ago.”

“But we didn’t… For a reason. I love you and-”

“And we always agreed this was temporary; that this was never going to last. My job, your dad, my family, your deployment… I  _ do  _ love you, Alex. I’ll  _ always  _ love you but it’s time we start to do the right thing… And the right thing for me is to let you go.”

To his credit, Alex didn’t yell or scream or beg for him to change his mind. The flood of tears began to spill down his cheeks but he shook his head as he burrowed back into Jim’s embrace.

“Can we at least wait until tomorrow?” Alex whispered. “Just one more night, please, Jim?”

He slowly nodded his head in agreement, leaned down to kiss the crown of his head. He knew it was the wrong answer, that he should say No and leave right now but he wasn’t strong enough for that.

He also knew that come morning, they’d both pretend this conversation never happened. That they would both continue on this path of destruction. They were already in over their heads, it was only a matter of time before they were both drowning.

Yet they’d somehow managed to become each other’s life preserver. Neither able or willing to let the other go.


End file.
